No, That’s Not A Compliment. – Joi Photography

No, That’s Not A Compliment.

I have a little story to tell and then some real truths so stay with me on this one.

I sat in a photography workshop watching our presenter dress a model for a demonstration and she said to this girl, out loud, in front of a room full of fellow photogs: “Oh, you’re skinny.” I’m not sure if I was the only one, but my jaw hit the floor. She said it cheerfully and clearly meant no harm, but NO. That is NOT a compliment.

“You’re skinny”
“You’re nice and curvy”
“You’re tall”
“You’ve got massive legs”
“You look thin”

It does not matter how good your intentions are ..these are not compliments, they’re observations. And they’re YOUR observations.

That girl you said is looking good because she’s “finally got some meat on her bones.” is in recovery from an eating disorder.. don’t comment on her body.

That woman who you told is skinny? She’s been told that her whole life and she’s learning to love herself as she is. Don’t comment on her body.

That woman you told is “nice and curvy” is wondering why you think it’s your place to say… don’t comment on her body.

Are we all catching on here? I’ll maybe say it again. Making your own observations on someone’s body is not a compliment.

I’ve been a boudoir photographer for almost ten years and in this time I’ve learned that EVERY woman has or has had some struggle or insecurity with her body. So let’s just make a pact here ok? Instead of commenting on each other’s looks, shape or size – can we build each other up and celebrate who we are as humans?

 

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